I’ve been absent from the blog for a while. I have been capturing my ideas down on paper, but struggling with writing them in the blog. Not wanting to duplicate others, but still feeling the draw to write down what I do, why I do it. At times I feel so insecure about this blog and writing the book. At other times I am compelled and know it is the right path. The feelings all come in waves. Waves of security, blessing and knowing. Waves of insecurity, shame and dread. Overcoming those feelings is sometimes difficult, often impossible. What I know is that the ideas keep coming, sometimes softly, sometimes with such an intensity that the knowing is impossible to deny. The universe chooses to tell me that this book is still inside me, outside of me, all around me. The barrier is only my own brain, my own insecurities, my own doing.

So, keeping with the knowing. There are still things I need to tell you, want to tell you. I may choose to document them here or elsewhere. I have been starting to understand that I need to simply write the book and get it out there for the world to see. It could be fodder for someone else to find their creative niche in the world. It could be really helpful to someone struggling to do “everything”. Getting caught in the hamster wheel of trying to do everything, be everything for everyone and saying yes to doing everything is a wheel I don’t want to die on anymore. Making that conscious choice can be liberating, and getting some help to get there could be very useful to someone. I am not saying anything that some do not already know. I am worried that it won’t have meaning, that it is already known. But, it wasn’t known to me before I embarked on the real knowing. So, it may not be known to others. It may have some use. Why would it keep circling back to me if it was known, if it didn’t need to be known through me?

Is this so abstract that it has no meaning? I don’t think so. I think it resonates with those of us who are constantly on the move, constantly doing. If you don’t slow down, you miss life. If you don’t take a moment to breath, walk outside, smile, you risk becoming less resilient, you risk not enjoying life.

There are so many things that matter in life. There are so many things we need to do. One of them is definitely to find, have and cultivate joy in life.

So, this idea that keeps coming to me, for years now. If I don’t do it, it will flow to someone else. It will try to find a way to be known. This is part of what I am supposed to do while I am here, it is something I need to do regardless if it makes any money or in reality ends up costing me money. I am graciously accepting this challenge and know that I will be successful. Is that conceited?

Is that cray cray to put out there in the universe? Well, its out there.

This is bigger than me. It may get even bigger.

Is that scary? For sure!

You have joined me on this journey before. Thank you for bearing with me as I find my way.

Hope to see you again soon.

Be Well,

Teresa